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Trauma: Spotting Signs of Domestic Abuse
Abusive behaviour in the context of intimate relationships is one of the most common types of violence in the UK, and globally. Whilst the true number may be far greater, the most recent evidence suggests that 1 in every 4 adult women will experience DV in their lifetime, whilst 1 in every 7 men suffer the same. ONS data report that 74.1% of domestic homicide cases in 2022 were female. The consequences of unaddressed abuse can be devastating, often leading to death. Moreover, for those trapped in violent relationships, it can result in severe mental and physical disorders, with repercussions extending to those connected to the victim.
Unfortunately, numerous myths surrounding domestic violence perpetuate misconceptions, making it difficult for victims to identify their situation. In this article, I aim to shed light on common signs of domestic abuse and provide guidance on accessing support.
Understanding Domestic Abuse
According to the UN, domestic violence, or intimate partner violence, is any incident or pattern of behaviour that intends to oppress an intimate partner. Domestic abuse can encompass a range of behaviours aimed at exerting power and control over a partner. According to Refuge, it can manifest in various forms, with the most common types including:
Psychological/emotional abuse: Constant criticism, humiliation, degradation, or undermining of self-worth.
Economic abuse: Controlling access to money or resources, such as withholding money, preventing working or accessing education, or placing partner in debt without their knowledge or consent.
Sexual abuse: Deceiving or coercing partner into unwanted sexual behaviour or rape, sexual assault, sexual harassment and non-consensual image sharing.
Physical abuse: Inflicting bodily harm such as hitting, kicking, burning, grabbing, shoving, slapping, hair-pulling, biting, or using other physical force.
Tech abuse: Sending abusive texts, demanding access to devices, tracking with spyware, or sharing images of partner online.
Manipulation and Coercive control: Any other pattern of behaviour that aims to exert power and control over the partner. Examples include guilt tripping, gaslighting, or using children to manipulate partner.
Domestic abuse can take direct forms like physical violence or rape, or operate indirectly, with perpetrators employing manipulation and coercion to control victims. This might also involve using cultural or religious beliefs to justify abusive behaviour or isolating the victim from support networks.
The Effects of Domestic Violence
The consequences of domestic violence are profound and far-reaching. In the UK alone, government and non-governmental sources report that two women die each week due to domestic abuse, with similar tragedies affecting men. Furthermore, an estimated three women per week die by suicide as a result of domestic violence. Beyond mortality, those trapped in abusive relationships often suffer from depression and other mental health issues. Moreover, the impact extends beyond the individual, affecting the well-being of children and other household members.
Ending the Cycle of Abuse
Contrary to common assumptions, leaving an abusive relationship is rarely straightforward. Victims often face numerous barriers, including PTSD, financial constraints, and societal stigma. The cycle of abuse, characterised by apologies and manipulation, can foster false hope for change. Self-blame and shame further complicate matters, leading victims to believe they deserve the abuse or are responsible for their partner’s actions.
Seeking Support
Recognising the signs of domestic abuse is crucial, but equally important is accessing support. Fortunately, numerous organisations provide resources and assistance to survivors:
- National Domestic Abuse Helpline: Offering support, advice, and information 24/7 on 0808-2000-247
- Women’s Aid: Providing life-saving services and advocacy for survivors of domestic abuse. Email at helpline@womensaid.org.uk
- Men can call ManKind on 0182 3334 244
- Or you can talk to a GP or other healthcare professional
Domestic violence is a grave societal issue with profound implications for individuals and families. Understanding its nature and accessing support services are critical steps in combating this pervasive problem. By raising awareness and providing assistance, we can work towards a future where domestic violence is not tolerated, saving lives and fostering healthier communities.
I hope you found this article useful. If you have any questions, or to discuss treatment and support options then feel free to get in touch.
With best wishes,
Sadaf
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