Acceptance to Reduce Anxiety

Acceptance is acknowledging the reality of your experience as it is, objectively, without interpretation or evaluation.  For example, the boss is unfairly treating you, and you worry and feel fear.  Acceptance is recognising the fact that the boss is being unfair, that you are worried; that you feel fear.  It is not judging the situation as bad or good; it is not resisting, rejecting, or denying what is happening; it is not condoning a wrong or thinking you cannot change the situation.  It is merely acknowledging the reality as it is, in that moment, for you; giving yourself the space to feel what you are experiencing.  This is important because it is often the case that people encounter a stressor or conflict and rather than acknowledging the situation, their thoughts and feelings, they react, causing anger and further distress.  

Acceptance is a form of compassion because you first allow yourself the time and space to acknowledge what is happening for you.  

Continually practicing acceptance will produce the most beneficial results.  Therefore, set aside 10 to 15 minutes for a few days per week to practice the following exercise.  With time, it will help you to develop a non-reactive calm mindset, and you will be less likely to worry and feel stressed. However, please note that this is a self-care strategy and not intended to be a substitute for therapeutic support.  

1. Observe

Without judgment or evaluation, simply observe whatever you are experiencing in the present moment.    For example, if I were to tell you to observe your breath at the base of the nostrils, objectively, this would mean observing it as it naturally arises and falls, noticing its characteristics, is it long, is it short, is it through one nostril or both, is it hot or is it cold?  Similarly, observe other aspects of your experience as it naturally occurs, in the present moment, without trying to change or control it.  

If a situation causes you distress, then acknowledge what you have observed that makes you feel upset (Clarissa stole from me).  Notice how you feel (sad); where you feel the sadness in your body (tightness in my neck).  Simply observe and accept whatever is happening in your current experience, without trying to control or evaluate it.  Another example could be: Marjorie lied about me to others and I feel angry that she lied; I feel this anger in my jaw, it feels tight and tense.  

You may also find it beneficial if you use statements such as “a part of me can feel fear”, or “a part of me feels sadness” or “there is happiness, I can feel it in my chest”.  Alternatively, you can simply say “sadness”, “fear”, “peaceful”.  With an attitude of inquiry and non-judgment you simply label how you are feeling, without evaluation or without trying to change it.  

Emotions, sensations, and thoughts are ephemeral and subject to change.  Therefore, like an objective observer, watch the emotion, sensation or thought, knowing all the while you are not the emotion, sensation or thought, knowing it will change, because that is its nature.  

If you find your mind wonders or you become self-critical, then as soon as you realise this, gently refocus your awareness.  

2. Closing

Once you feel ready to bring the exercise to an end, take a few deep diaphragmatic breaths, observing your breathing as you inhale and slowly exhale.  

Developing awareness of emotions and being present in this way takes time and effort, and with continued practice and perseverance, you will become calmer, less reactive, prone to thinking of constructive solutions for change, and less likely to become chronically anxious.  

I hope you find these suggestions beneficial.  Feel free to leave any comments.

Kind regards,

Sadaf

🙂